Some things have been twirling around in the empty space I call my brain lately, and I think finally some stuff is starting to settle.
I’ve had this anonymous blog for a few months now, and I really enjoy it. I also have a very public life, and I think I mentioned at one point somewhere or another on here that I’m a very minor public person. I’ve been really shy and hesitant about taking the events happening to me into that public life. It, of course, crossed into it to some degree, I cant help that entirely, but mostly I’ve kept it very seperate.
But is a New Year and with all of this happening to me, I’m changing as a person to some extent and I think its time I finally let that into the rest of my life. I’m an artist and creative person. And I’ve been feeling like my work and life hasn’t been mirroring who I am now.
So..I’m going to change that. I’m more excited right now at where my direction is going than I have been for a long time.
I’m goiong to keep this blog, because there will be things that i just want to have more private.
But I’d like to invite you all to visit my new public blog and actually meet the person behind these words:

At this point I’ve just copied over these posts here, but there are some other aspects to the website that you might find interesting . I’ve had a sort of grief support website for about a year, I’ve combined that and this blog into one thing.
I hope to see you there. if not, I’ll see you here.



Striking image of an orb in the center of my back. Note the face to the right of the orb itself.

A close friend is a professional photographer. For a few months now we’ve planned to do a shoot together of me in a cemetery, both for interesting pictures for her to use in her portfolio, me to use for whatever, and to see if anything would show up. This past New Years Day, we finally had a chance to make this idea happen.

The result was something neither of us expected. We thought perhaps an orb or two might pop up in a couple pictures, or maybe a blurry bit or perhaps something we couldn’t quite distinguish. What we got was about 50% of the photos with some sort of very bright, very strong ball of light.
She is a photograher who works strictly with natural light and she spends a great deal of time trying to get sunflare into her pictures on purpose. She is very familiar with what sunflare looks like and how to acheive it. She has never seen anything like what we got. She also sent the pictures to 2 different Master Photographers that she knows. Both of them have confirmed for her that what we got is not sunflare, what it is they are not sure, but both have said that what happened is essentially impossible.
Here is the most amazing of the pictures from that day. Please bear in mind the sun was in front of me. How did the sun go through my body? There was nothing behind us to reflect any where did this ball come from when my body was blocking the sun? Also, if you look closely on the right side of the orb is the head and shoulders of a person-my instincts say its female.

And here are a couple other shots from the day. Please bear in mind that there are dozens of pictures with this orb or another similar one at both this tombstone and at others. I dont have all the pics yet, my friend just emailed me a few for reference. Hopefully I’ll be able to post more at a later day.

Kreativ Blogger Award..who me????

Well, I’ll be darned..I got an award. Honestly, I dont get awards, so I was surprised and tickled. 🙂 Thanks and a shout out go to Siannaphey
From what I have read I have to share 10 things that you may not know about me. Then I have to pass the award on to at least six other bloggers, so here it comes..

First, 10 things you may not know about me:
1) I’m really tall…like 5’10”.
2) I eat books for breakfast..I love them, I devour them…they are as necessary to me as food and air and water.
3) I love shoes.
4) I graduated from High School as a Junior with a 4.0 GPA and 6 college credits and was given a full academic scholarship to a very good university.
5) I promptly dissed the scholarship and quit after one trimester to go to Europe.
6) My right foot is half a size smaller than my left foot.
7) The only person in my family of origin that I speak to is my dad.
8) I have a pet sheep.
9) I dont watch television.
10) I drive a truck.

And the 6 other bloggers I’d like to nominate..
Well, I’d like to nominate Siannaphey again, but then we’d wind up in this viscious cycle, I just know it…so just know you rock Si!!

Latest Bits and Bobs

1) Saw a kitty in my apartment last night. Just a glimpse.
We dont have a kitty. We do however have 2 very big dogs who love to chase and bark at kitties and had the laws of locking door mechanisms somehow managed to change themselves and there had been a living kitty in our actual very tiny 1 bedroom apartment both dogs would have been losing their ever lovin’ minds.
2) The latest very persistent spirit is a middle aged black gentleman wearing a panama hat with an awful lot of handwritten letters. I cant read them, he wont give me a close enough view.

Mostly its been grieving people, living people. Like the poor lady who lost her little child not long ago. The one I mentioned in a previous post. She’s still eamiling me just to talk about it. She’s having trouble with the holidays here. And then there is the very kind lady who wandered into my shop about 10 days ago who lost her in utero son at about 25 weeks. He lived 34 minutes. She spent an hour in here just telling me all about him. Everything she knew, and showing me his picture. She didn’t buy anything, she just talked. Or the sweet woman who bought an antique bird cage I had for sale because she lost her bird recently and this beautiful cage will remind her of him. Or the gentleman who brought me 3 boxes of vintage costume jewelry that had been his mothers. She died 5 years ago and he still misses her. He had her funeral program with him in his wallet.

All these souls, on this side and the other, all wandering, all really wanting the same thing: just to be heard. What a strange and blessed journey I’ve been given…

Not My Normal Blog Subject Matter.

So, for the last 2 Christmases, my man and I have not gotten each other anything for Christmas, because money is THAT tight, and we prefered to use what we had for our Kidlet. But this year, without telling him, I scrimped and saved and managed to find him 2 really nice white dress shirts and a brand new leather belt at Goodwill ( it took a lot of shopping over many trips, believe me). I was so excited to think he’d have something under the tree to open Christmas morning! Yay!!! And he had no idea so I’d get to totally surprise him because as far as he thinks, we’re doing what we’ve done the last few years, right???

I kept them at work this whole time and last night I ironed them, folded them perfectly and placed them in a shipping box, taped it up and took the box home with me.

I had the box sitting on a table next to where I always put my purse and cell phone. Its an established “MY STUFF” spot in the house. I admit I probably should not have put the box there or should not have left it there in any case, but about an hour later, I’m sitting on the couch with Kidlet and my man is in the kitchen doing God knows what. Well God knows what ended with him coming out of the kitchen holding two shirts and a belt in his hands and looking at them and then me in befuddlement…

When my mind registered what it was I screamed, ‘NO!!! YOU DID NOT OPEN THAT!!! OH NOOOOO!!!!!” and I burst into tears. My Kidlet burst into man shouted in startlement, and took 4 steps back into the kitchen, then he rushed to me and tried to make it better. Meanwhile, I’m just bawling my eyes out….

Turns out he thought it was a package that had been delivered to us..had no idea it could possibly be a Christmas present still unwrapped. He felt absolutely horrible and I was fairly unconsolable for about half an hour…

The good news is that he loved the shirts and the belt!!!!


Hello? Huuhhlooo???

Driving to work today I heard a phone ring. Not the ring tone itself but the sound you hear when you are calling someone else and its ringing on their end. But it was very faint and muffled, as though the phone was far away.
I immediately assumed I had butt dialed someone and reached for my cell to turn it off. My cell wasn’t calling anyone, and there was no sign of it having dialed. And I could still hear the tone.
I was driving, alone, windows rolled up, and not sitting at a stop sign where there would be an outside small chance of hearing someone else’s phone ringing.
The ringing was coming from somewhere near me.
Just not from a real phone.

Thank Goodness..its been so quiet lately I was starting to worry they’d all gone away or something.

Its Been Pretty Quiet

…mostly. But there’ve been a few things of note I should jot down while I recall them.
One was driving home last night. A perfectly quiat street, no wind in the trees, nothing..and off to the right, from nowhere, a sudden shower of leaves from the front of a building rained down on my daughter and I in my car. There was no gardener with a leaf blower and I want to stress again nothing was moving in the nearby trees–no wind, I mean. There were far too many leaves for it to be some kid’s prank, and anyway, there’d have nowhere for them to hide. I’d have seen them. So thats one.

The second was a few days ago…I arrived home and as I was coming through the door, a sudden flash of a camera flash, hit me full in the face from somewhere at the level of my knees. My husband was standing right there greeting me, and my daughter as well. Neither of them saw the flash. Only me. I did not imagine it.

The third is related to a previous blog…Smoke and Mirrors. One of my followers on the post showed the photo of me to a medium who said she saw 2 men in of whom was holding a baby and had a message for me. I didn’t know who it could be. A day later I received an email from a woman who has heard that I have a sort of talent with death and dying. She had lost her infant son a few months ago and has been having the hardest time. Anyway, through a series of emails back and forth, it appears that the gentleman in my photograph holding the baby could be her father…and he has her son with him and wants her to know the baby is okay. Thanks go out to Chattingwithspirit!

Smoke and Mirrors

My husband–goofy prankster that he is– took this picture of me the other day when I was dressing for work. He snuck it by taking it looking into a mirror when my back was turned.
Apart from cropping it for decency since I was, in fact, not dressed, and making it a bit bigger so you can see it more clearly, it is entirely unretouched.
The smoke effect you see swirling around me only showed up in this part of the photo, not around my legs or torso or anywhere in the background. The mirror was completely clean. I know because I had just cleaned it. We had no been cooking, there were no lit candles in the room, nor had there been, the heat wasn’t even turned on. There was absolutely nothing to cause this smokeyness around me and we did not see anything before or after taking the picture.
He noticed it this morning and pointed it out to me asking mw what I thought it was. I just looked at him pointedly and asked him what HE thought it was. He has always supported me in this, and never made me feel awkward or crazy or anything else about it other than loved, but he did have a healthy amount of reservation and skepticism. I think he’s almost fully convinced now…I think even I am more convinced after this that its real and not just my overactive imagination.

Text Conversation

My friend just lost her horse the other day. Even though I dont normally do ‘readings’, I wanted to help her with her grief in whatever way I could. It is the first time I offered to help someone in this way. I was nervous and expected her to come back to me with something like “Well, it doesn’t really make a lot of sense, but thank you anyway”. I was pretty surprised at the resultant series of texts. Here is a copy of (the pertinent parts) of our conversation. it is unedited except to take out or alter identifying names, etc…

Me: Aww honey, it’s okay, no one expects you to talk. We just want you to know we are here if you need us. I’m so sorry. If you want me to try to reach him I will. I’m not real good at it yet, but I’ll try. Only if you want me to though.

Her: That would be really nice. Thank you guys so much for your support. It really helps…

Me: Ok. Well…its a little different with animals because they dont communicate in words, but the very first thing I got was a) why are you crying…stop it. [he was quite an irrascible little pony], and b) an image of something that looks like a doghouse maybe? But I wasn’t very focused yet, so that might not be anything. Then once I got more focused, I got a very strong impression of what looked like a dark colored pathway or road or passageway. It had rails or bars on the side and at the end. He didn’t like it. He was showing me that he was kind of a butt about walking down it. Does that mean anything to you? Then, I thought about you..tried to show him you and I instantly got COOKIES! And carrots. But cookies first. Then I saw what looked like part of a saddle or harness in the bottom right. Not sure of the bottom right of what exactly, but it’s the bottom right. Then a white line. Long, narrow. Going up the center of something. White. Maybe white light? And then [my daughter] came in and I lost it. Does any of this make any sense to you?

Her: Oh my goodness! It does! He was having trouble walking down the ramp from the car at the hospital. He wouldn’t walk down it. He was a butt about it. COOKIES, I taught him that trick where you ask him if he’s a good boy and he shakes his head yes. Well, whenever he wanted a cookie he would shake his head. The cookies were carrots. After he passed away I was clenching his halter in the car ride home. The narrow white line? It might have been the tape they put around his belly after they did the tap [its a medical procedure]. Thank you so much. A lot of this made sense to me. Thank you so much for being here for me.

Me:Of course, anytime. Did you got to [vet clinic #1] by chance, or [vet clinic #2]? I kept seeing clinic #1, but then I’d see some guy with sandy hair and glasses and a big bottom lip and I dont know anyone at clinic #1 like that, so it didn’t make sense to me. Maybe it will for you though. Anyway…just know he’s still here with you.

Her: We were at Clinic #1. Thank you.

Since I did say I’m going to be totally honest.

I do have to report that my daughter admitted to snagging the $100 bill and putting it in her closet. She had found it on the floor, and just figured it was a $1 bill from the tooth fairy she’d accidentally dropped ( She’s only 5 so not really old enough to know the difference). She didn’t make the connection between the “One hundred dollars”, and the one dollar she had found when I first asked about it. So that one was not in fact a spirit. I’m relieved as I hate think about spirits hiding money from me. Especially with money being in such short supply.

Though, in hindsight, I would like to know how the $100 bill got from the bottom of my purse onto the floor…

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